Here I will blather endlessly about my feelings and opinions related to my transitioning.

20 NY/MA En/Ru

Transsexual male

Stealth in real life

This is a secondary blog, so I can't follow-back.

I would strongly prefer for the content posted here to refrain from being shared on facebook groups/pages/the like.


One of my best friends had his top surgery this morning and is hanging in there like a champ! We were out hiking yesterday around PA, and he’s currently resting up for a long trip home later this week. This isn’t really pertinent to my own transition, I’m just incredibly proud of him and I’m happy I could be here to help him out post-op

I have put more effort than I’d like to admit into this outfit but my affinity for tight t-shirts has increased exponentially since surgery

I have put more effort than I’d like to admit into this outfit but my affinity for tight t-shirts has increased exponentially since surgery

Surgery Update:

As I mentioned briefly in other posts, my body does not generally react well to dissolving stitches and last night my body has started pushing remaining end bits of stitches out of the scar tissue in a mess of pus and blood

I discovered this at about 1am while looking down and wondering why I had a lump under my nip

It’s a lot like an ingrown hair but with bits of the ends of stitches thrown in

Throwback to summer 2012 Pre-T holding my first vial vs Winter 2013/2014 13 months on T

So far this summer has been one of bearding, and I’ve noticed a massive difference in my facial hair lately

Top: 20 months on testosterone

Bottom: 3 months on testosterone

I feel like a massive chicken when I have someone else do my shot, it’s just so much easier in so many ways.

Physically it only takes about a minute and a half to ask a friend, draw it up, and inject it whereas if I do it myself I draw it, stare at it for an hour, spend an hour trying to do it, and then finally do it in a fog of anxiety. (if I don’t completely psych myself out and just do it a day late)

At least it’s done?

I can do it myself, and I’ve done it myself several weeks. I would just prefer to have someone else do it because I’ve got an abundance of friends who are nurses or EMTs and are trained to do things like that who don’t mind helping me out every week.

Life update:

I had a doctors appointment the other day, it didn’t go quite as I’d planned.

I arrived on time and filled out the annual paperwork, lots of boring junk and emergency contacts.

I talked to my doc about switching to gel over injections, after much debate we decided that it would be too complicated to use my medicaid to cover testim until December because I’m listed as male on that before I switch back to shots when I get on my mother’s insurance in January. (where I’ll be listed as female again)

Once that was all figured out, I got my dose lowered. I’m actually happy that it’ll take less testosterone to keep my body stable. I’d rather not be on the max dose or even a relatively high one.

Because my dose was changed, all the tests I thought I’d be having would be inconclusive, so I’m to come back in Sept and have them done then. INSTEAD I had just about every STD test known to man (cause why not) and I’ve never even heard of a couple of these before. They were not the most comfortable things, but rather safe than sorry.

So really all that’s changed is 1) my dose is lower, and 2) in Jan or Feb my doc and I will re-evaluate my insurance situation and see if I can’t get switched to gel.